Wanna Stay Friends With Your Guy Friends? Hook 'Em Up!

This isn't just about any one guy friend, but I've been thinking a lot about this topic lately. I don't have very many guys who are friends, so the ones I do have, I cherish very much. So it got me thinking... if these guys hook up with booches (for lack of a better word) that I don't know personally, I may lose an awesome guy from my life. I'll explain.

Not gonna lie, I'm ridiculously good-looking (homage to Zoolander), at least enough to make random insecure women with daddy-issues very nervous. I can't help that. Honestly, I don't blame them. (Ladies, you must know my intentions are pure and it's not even like that with your boys.) So, if and/or when I lose a boy to a relationship because I happened to call their girl a whore and they stayed together (high school, true story... hey, her name rhymed with whore), how is that my fault?

Case in point. One of my guy friends is about to marry one of my girl friends. Coincidence? I think not. Granted, I didn't push them together, but they found each other. And guess what, I can stay friends with him and her forever! So you're figuring out this is all about me. Good, you catch on quickly.

His ex-lady before was kinda a big, ugly meanie who literally shoulder bumped me at a soccer game for talkin' to her man. Who DOES THAT?! See what happens to you! Now, if they stayed together any longer, we may have lost touch, and I can't risk having that.

I have another friend who is on/off with his trainer girlfriend. She's the only girl that gets it. Not threatened by me at all (but she also comes off as very naive). She should know I've known her man long before she laid eyes on him, and since he calls me his "wifey", and he's my "husband," she knows where she stands. And I love them both. Win-win.

My last example has a girlfriend whom I've never met (don't even know the name). Granted, haven't seen him in ages, but IM is a good medium (you know who you are). Only thing is, now that he has a girlfriend whom I've never met, I'll just assume she'll immediately dislike me and that's the end of that. I don't feel I can call and hang out, because the girl might get all fatal attraction on my ass and take it the wrong way. I have to respect certain boundaries. If someone's lady doesn't want me calling or texting her man, no matter how innocent, I get that.

Still sucks. So what's the solution? Hook your guy friends up with your girl friends!



Easy Peasy. You could double date with ease, call up your boys to go see a movie, maybe grab some Chavelas (awesome beer with lemon, salt in a goblet), and call it a day, and his girlfriend will never get pissed with you because they know you got their back. Plus, your guy friends could play your wingman and hook you up for all the joy and happinesss you've brought them. Like I said, win-win! I'm such a good, selfless person.

Hot Geek Of The Week: Jimmy Fallon as Robert Pattinson

Q: Whaaa, Jimmy Fallon isn't hot enough to get picked on his own and needs a real-life alter ego to make your list????

A: Yup.

Anyone who rocks a bad British accent, sits in a tree, and makes me laugh definitely scores enough points to sky rocket to the top of my Geek of the Week list. Although, I dunno, I'd classify Jimmy boy as more of a dork. Besides, "Robert Pattinson" is bothered... so I'm bothered... Bothered laughing my arse off. You can find all his crazy shenanigans at:

http://www.robertisbothered.com/.

God Bless you JF, for being you being RP. XOXO, Pistol.

Counter-Point: Ryan Buell is a Douche

Apparently there are people out there that don't happen to think Ryan Buell from Paranormal State is the cat's meow. Ryan Buell happens to be my type: Someone completely unavailable and doesn't live in the same state as me... you'd think we were meant. However, sometimes, people may not always agree with me that he's super awesome. I figure it's only fair to get another person's side of the story.

Sandy, a good friend and brand-spanking new local correspondent to this blog, fills me in on her thoughts on everything Ryan Buell. I came to know her insight after hearing she was talking mad smack about my boo on the radio.

Sandy:

"I'll be honest - watching 'Paranormal State' wasn't always easy for me. It wasn't because I started hearing 'noises' in my own house midway through an episode. It wasn't because I had to leave the lights on in several other rooms, or watch a half-hour of sh*tty reality TV afterwards, to 'de-spook' myself.

It was because I thought Ryan was a big, big douchebag.

I don't even know why, to tell you the truth. Something about his monotone voice, lack of expression, emotion, etc. really bothered me. That and the fact that he'd come into people's houses - people who were scared, vulnerable and borderline losing their minds - and they'd cry while confessing to him their life story... and he'd just sit there... and stare at them.

Look, I realize your half-ghost yourself, Ryan Buell, but when people are crying and in hysterics, you can at least do them the decency of acting like a human. Here are some things you can do:

* Put your arm on their shoulder.

* Say, 'I'm sorry you're going through this.'

* Give them a hug.

* Or just TELL them: 'I hear you, I am listening, I am just incapable of showing emotion because I am part-vampire.'

And that's about it - my only real gripe.

Aside from that, I pretty much want to make out with him."

I'm back.

I've decided after a long break from the blog biz, and an already shaky start to 2010, that people needed my blog again. So without much further ado, I will be writing again. It was one of my resolutions and more of an excuse to write more about Ryan Buell from Paranormal State (I don't mind exploiting him, I get more hits that way).... Ryan Buell, Ryan Buell, Ryan Buell.... do I have your attention now? Let's do this.