Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Wanna Stay Friends With Your Guy Friends? Hook 'Em Up!



This isn't just about any one guy friend, but I've been thinking a lot about this topic lately. I don't have very many guys who are friends, so the ones I do have, I cherish very much. So it got me thinking... if these guys hook up with booches (for lack of a better word) that I don't know personally, I may lose an awesome guy from my life. I'll explain.

Not gonna lie, I'm ridiculously good-looking (homage to Zoolander), at least enough to make random insecure women with daddy-issues very nervous. I can't help that. Honestly, I don't blame them. (Ladies, you must know my intentions are pure and it's not even like that with your boys.) So, if and/or when I lose a boy to a relationship because I happened to call their girl a whore and they stayed together (high school, true story... hey, her name rhymed with whore), how is that my fault?

Case in point. One of my guy friends is about to marry one of my girl friends. Coincidence? I think not. Granted, I didn't push them together, but they found each other. And guess what, I can stay friends with him and her forever! So you're figuring out this is all about me. Good, you catch on quickly.

His ex-lady before was kinda a big, ugly meanie who literally shoulder bumped me at a soccer game for talkin' to her man. Who DOES THAT?! See what happens to you! Now, if they stayed together any longer, we may have lost touch, and I can't risk having that.

I have another friend who is on/off with his trainer girlfriend. She's the only girl that gets it. Not threatened by me at all (but she also comes off as very naive). She should know I've known her man long before she laid eyes on him, and since he calls me his "wifey", and he's my "husband," she knows where she stands. And I love them both. Win-win.

My last example has a girlfriend whom I've never met (don't even know the name). Granted, haven't seen him in ages, but IM is a good medium (you know who you are). Only thing is, now that he has a girlfriend whom I've never met, I'll just assume she'll immediately dislike me and that's the end of that. I don't feel I can call and hang out, because the girl might get all fatal attraction on my ass and take it the wrong way. I have to respect certain boundaries. If someone's lady doesn't want me calling or texting her man, no matter how innocent, I get that.

Still sucks. So what's the solution? Hook your guy friends up with your girl friends!



Easy Peasy. You could double date with ease, call up your boys to go see a movie, maybe grab some Chavelas (awesome beer with lemon, salt in a goblet), and call it a day, and his girlfriend will never get pissed with you because they know you got their back. Plus, your guy friends could play your wingman and hook you up for all the joy and happinesss you've brought them. Like I said, win-win! I'm such a good, selfless person.

2 comments:

  1. I never thought about it like that... you're like soo smurt. I need to start hooking my galfriends up with my friends.

    What is the deal with Doogie Howser in the picture? Unless it is a TV show I haven't seen yet lol

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  2. It is all find and dandy if things work out, but when they don't it is a hot mess. From experience, I seriously do not think it is worth it AT ALL but that is just me.

    OHH, maybe I will write a counterpoint on my blog!

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